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life

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Finding Your Purposeful Life

So... let's talk about purpose. We all want to find our life "purpose." That thing that is going to light us up and make us want to wake up and jump out of bed in the morning, right? It seems that this process is growing increasingly more and more difficult to navigate. Why is this?

I mean, didn't our parents just "pick" a job and do it for 35 years and then retire and live happily ever after? Maybe. Maybe it was more difficult for them than we think, but I'd say one reason that finding our purpose is more difficult in our world today is because there are so much MORE options to choose from and roads to take. We live in an amazingly exciting time. The information and technology world that we live in has changed our economic system along with the way we view our purpose. The career possibilities are ENDLESS and it is becoming increasingly harder to decide on one thing to do or be.

Regardless of this, there are steps you can take to finding that life of purpose you yearn for. There are avenues that will bring you greater meaning and fulfillment than others because of all of the things that make you uniquely you. I have chosen to be a life coach based on my passion for psychology, love of all things self-help, and my natural ability to understand and love people. Now, put me in a science lab and ask me to do research on how to cure cancer and I would probably go insane. Even so, this decision was not an easy decision for me to make and I understand how incredibly treacherous of a journey it can feel like when you find yourself there. Believe me, do I know! So here are 7 steps you can use to help you find the thing/things that will bring you the most meaning and purpose in your life. 

Step 1. CHILDHOOD INFLUENCES

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Some people believe that our society and childhood upbringing do not influence who we are today, but that is simply not true. They DO influence who we are to the deepest level. That doesn’t mean that past experiences can’t be worked through and moved on from, but recognizing how your past influences who you are today is the first step in finding your purpose.

Another thing that seems to come up here is that there are some people who have a specific talent that is so extreme that it is easy to detect that they were truly “made” to do it. For the rest of us, determining what we were “made to do” can be a little less obvious. Part of the reason our natural skills and abilities are not obvious is because most of us are influenced by our families and society to follow paths that we’re “supposed” to do. Our roles, careers, hobbies, and relationships are often chosen for us more because of our conditioning or because we feel we “should” rather than because they are a fit for who we truly are. I put off looking into interior design programs for years and years mainly because I didn’t think my parents would think that career was “scholarly” enough. Not until I finally took off the masks I had been wearing because of who/what I thought I was “supposed to be, did I finally come to manifest my purpose.

Step 2. Personality

jumping girl.jpg

Personality is the set of descriptive terms which are used to describe an individual. Gordon Allport said, “Personality is the dynamic organization INSIDE a person… characteristics, patterns of behavior, thoughts, and feelings.” What do you value? What makes you tick? How do you prefer to work? How do you relate to your world? Investigating your personality can be so powerful.

There are so many tests. I’d suggest you take one. My favorite is the 16 personalities Test. Look it up and take it, I promise it will give you some clues. And maybe you won’t agree with everything. Take another one. There are color tests, the enneagram… try them all and pull the things you agree with because while these tests are great starting points, you are unique and cannot be placed into a little box. But they will give you insights and I bet you will agree with more than you think.

Step 3. Passions and Interests

In life, there are things we just absolutely LOVE to do. There are things we naturally feel drawn to. There are activities we lose ourselves in when we experience flow. When thinking about your passions and interests, ask yourself, what did I enjoy doing as a child? What do I do in my free time? If I could do anything, I would… fill in the blank. When do I feel energized? When do I feel “lost” in what I’m doing, when the world seems to melt away? Look into the things that fill you up. That bring you joy. That you just love doing.

Step 4. Talents and Skills

There are things we are innately good at. That we have had inside us since birth. These are our talents. Look into those things. And think outside the box. Not all talents are the most visible to the naked eye. Some are less obvious. If you are having a hard time seeing your talents, ask your family and friends. I promise they will be able to fill you in on what you are not seeing yourself.

Skills, on the other hand, are something you develop. So, when thinking about your purpose, don’t get caught thinking that just because something doesn’t come naturally to you doesn’t mean you aren’t meant to do it. There are some things in anything you will do that you have to learn. I am naturally good at listening and helping people find solutions. However, I am not so good at figuring out how to embed code into my website. If I would have stopped when everything didn’t come naturally, I wouldn’t have made it here.

Step 5. Life Changing Experiences

Life is so complex that we sometimes miss patterns or circumstances that have truly influenced us because we are so focused on getting by or thinking about the past or future. However… nothing is a coincidence and things happen for a reason. When trying to find your purpose, look back over your life, what things stand out? What experiences have been especially meaningful to you? What has your life been focused on? See any themes? Have you been being guided the whole time? Maybe you are right at the cusp of your mission, being prepared all along the way.

Step 6. Eliminating Limiting Beliefs

Limiting Beliefs are behind every fear, frustration, and obstacle. I am so passionate about this subject because I struggled with limiting beliefs my entire life until I discovered this. And it's still a process, believe me. In order fully discover your purpose, you must pull the plug on limiting beliefs and empower yourself with new empowering beliefs. This takes time and effort, but it is SO worth it. You have to believe you can do anything. Because you can.

Step 7. Clarify Your Purpose

Combine everything you’ve learned along these 7 steps and move in a direction. What direction are you being pointed? Sometimes we have to take a few steps before we know if it feels right. You have the power to rewrite your story. Don’t like where you’re headed? The direction you’re going in doesn’t feel, right? CHANGE!

Give yourself permission to change your mind. To experiment. That’s the beauty of this path of discovery. It’s a journey. You can enjoy the process. 

And Always remember… You can have anything you truly desire.

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Dreams Will Come

Today, we're talking GOALS! But not the kind like New Year's resolutions where you say you're going to do something and then it dies by January 5. And not the kind where you think about something you'd like to do, say to yourself, "well, that'd be nice," and then brush it off because it actually isn't that important to you. No, the kind of goals I want to talk about are the ones that light your soul on fire, the DREAMS that live in you that have this constant little voice and are screaming louder and louder to get out.

"Those who accomplish the most in life are those with a vision."

The thing about dreams is that they CAN and WILL come true if you MAKE them happen. And the path to the fruition of a dream is setting a goal. Goal setting is beginning with the end in mind. It is creating a vision of the thing/life/relationship/career you want to have and then working backward to make a plan of how to get there.

GOAL = the destination

PLAN = the route for which you get there

I love this analogy because I love road trips. Sometimes I like to set out on spontaneous drives with no destination in mind, and those are great if that's what I'm wanting in the moment. But usually there is a place that I am dying to see and if I didn't make a plan using a map and some tools of how to get there, chances are I would not reach my destination. So it is with goals. If the goal is the end destination, there needs to be some prep work involved around creating the ROADMAP to make the goal a reality. How do we do this?

Lee Canyon, Mount Charleston, Nevada

Lee Canyon, Mount Charleston, Nevada

Steps to turn Dreams/Goals into REALITY.... 

  1. Get really clear on what it is that you want. 
  2. Reduce the goal to ONE CLEAR IMAGE.
  3. Write out WHY you want this. What will it bring to you, how will it change your life? Your why is your DRIVING force. It is the engine in the car. Without it, you will not go anywhere.
  4. Create a PLAN, roadmap, of how you will get there. 
    1. This Plan needs to involve a few things in order for you to be successful.
      1. Specific. The plan must be specific; when you will accomplish it by and exactly how. Be precise. 
      2. Measurable.  How will you know you have reached your goal. How will things in your life have changed?
      3. Attainable. Is this something you can actually accomplish? Nothing is impossible, so with this I mean: Are you giving yourself enough time? Do you have the tools you need to be successful? If not, what do you need?
  5. State each goal and part of the plan as a positive statement.
  6. WRITE them down.  
  7. Display them in a spot you will see them every day.
  8. Say the positive statements every day out loud.
  9. Discipline yourself to accomplish each step of the plan in the time frame you set. 
  10. If you don't quite make it, stand up, brush yourself off, and try again.

"Happiness is the understanding that goals actually matter and then putting forth a plan to get there."

Anything is possible if you set your mind to it and actually believe. (And guess what? A trick I use is to go somewhere completely alone, say in the mountains in my car with my windows all rolled up, (or anywhere you can be comfortable and not disturb other people) and SCREAM these affirmations at the top of your lungs until it feels so real and so a part of you that there is no question in your mind that you will accomplish this goal and make this dream come true. AND it feels amazing. You feel completely alive inside.

You have to believe it. Really believe it.

Believe in yourself.

The Dreams will come.

And if you need a tad more inspiration... this song is amazing. C'mon, we all need an anthem. Don't act surprised. You should know how I feel about music and song lyrics by now. :) Now, go get 'em!

"Dreams Will Come" - Brendan James
 

I can't believe this weather
I can feel it coming now the warmth of another sun, the start of another one
Don't bother me for tryin'
I can still be happy with the chance of a little rain
To me it's all the same
And the days will follow
And the dreams will come

The wind blows over me
I forget to see, how you did me wrong
Oh, the air I like to breathe is clearing up for me
You better get you some

I'm stepping out this fire
The light I need is shinin' from the moon on the riverside
That's where I like to hide
This world is something special
If my demons block my path I can walk around
I don't have to leave it down

Say, the wind blows over me
I forget to see, how you did me wrong
Oh, the air I like to breathe
Is clearing up for me
You better get you some

C'mon you can't see it
You got to believe it
It's like real love you can't fake it
Be careful don't break it
It's like c'mon you can't see it
You got to believe it
It's like real love you can't fake it
Ah, be careful don't break it

Oh the air I like to breathe is clearing up for me
You better get you some.

(Quotes taken from a discourse by M. Russell Ballard, April 2, 2017)

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Among the Wildflowers

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Among the Wildflowers

Hello Beautiful!

Welcome to my blog!

I wanted to take a minute this wonderful Friday morning to tell you what I woke up thinking about. I love music and usually when I first wake up there is already a song in my head, haha. This morning it was Tom Petty's "Wildflower." (insert the actual song. Tried to embed it... still figuring all this techy stuff out. Look it up. It WILL make your day better. I promise)

"You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
Sail away, kill off the hours
You belong somewhere you feel free

 

Run away, find you a lover
Go away somewhere all bright and new
I have seen no other
Who compares with you

 

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong somewhere close to me
Far away from your trouble and worry
You belong somewhere you feel free."

Spring is here in Las Vegas and the flowers are blooming, but whatever the weather, wherever you are, take this day to celebrate who you are, celebrate your amazing life, celebrate the freedom that you have, the uniqueness that you are. Go to someone that you love, someone that loves you, and celebrate life with them.

Because we get this ONE life.

What are you going to do with it?

You are on the path to feeling lighter and brighter.

Lots of Love, Clarissa  

P.S. Make sure to check back next week for 10 keys to bring more Happiness into your Interior Space. So excited to share it with you!!

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