Three months ago I drove into San Diego and on one of my first days here I found myself on a cliff overlooking the ocean watching para-sailers glide above the water. And I contemplated what real freedom looks like… or feels like rather. It seemed to me that there would be no freer feeling than flying through the air, though the thought of it also felt terrifying.
What is freedom? What does freedom feel like?
The Dictionary says that freedom is “the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint or action; It is the liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another. Independence, or the state of being exempt or released from something onerous.”
So then, if freedom is liberation from something that holds you captive, how then do you gain that liberation from something you fear?
To me, freedom feels like stepping through the fear you feel about something, anything and just going for it. Courage comes from action. You cannot gain courage without stepping through the fear.
Courage literally is just another word for freedom.
Many people think that in order to gain freedom from fear they have to DO something to develop courage and then the thing they fear will no longer be scary. This belief keeps them stuck from ever moving forward because this is simply not how it works. We have to move through the fear and literally prove to ourselves that we have no need to be scared of it.
Fear is another word for anxiety. One of my favorite descriptions I’ve ever heard for anxiety is fear that has kept you paralyzed for so long that it has been built up and built up that it seems unbearable and overwhelmingly scary. It’s like a balloon that you have poured hot air into for so long that it feels it’s about to pop. Now, I’m not saying that there are not legitimate cases of anxiety, but next time you feel an anxiety attack coming on, take a deep breath, and ask yourself what it is that you’re afraid of.
I promise you that as you begin to take steps THROUGH the fear you will develop COURAGE and find ultimate FREEDOM.
When I think of the word courage one of the first things that comes to my mind is the first time I came to San Diego. I was 23 years old, I’ve never done one thing completely alone, and I was aching to get out of the cold, dismal, Utah winter. It was two years after my divorce, I was in the middle of finally going through therapy to overcome the experience that was my failed marriage, and I was desperately seeking LIBERATION.
So I decided that what that looked like to me was driving all the way from Logan, Utah to San Diego (a 13 hour drive, that seems hilarious to me now with all the solo traveling I’ve done and long cross country drives I’ve done since, but that’s the point… fear is overcome a little at a time.) I didn’t tell my parents about it until the day before I planned to leave because I knew they would try and talk me out of it (which they did. haha) But I was determined.
The day after my birthday I woke up at 5:30 am, got ready, and began the 13-hour descent down south. 7 hours later I found myself in Las Vegas, the farthest I’d ever been on my own before that, and I had a total breakdown. I felt such anxiety about what I was about to do and literally wasn’t sure if I could go on. “This is crazy” I was thinking. “What am I thinking? I’m going to get kidnapped!” came through my mind. I all the sudden felt terrified that I didn’t know what I would do if my car broke down in the middle of the desert or if I would have enough money to make it there and back. I found myself sitting in a Jimmy John’s, eating a sandwich, crying my eyes out out of fear.
A man that worked at Jimmy Johns came and sat at the booth across from me and literally consoled me and gave me the pep talk I needed to continue going (people in Las Vegas truly are some of the nicest, most hospitable people, at least that was always my experience).
So I got back in my car, and I continued on the drive, 6 more hours to San Diego, where I spent a beautiful weekend riding my bike, writing in my journal, doing things by myself that I didn’t know I could do, and healing. I consider this period of time my quarter life crisis and was the beginning of what began the journey that formed my message I spread in my business.
This was the weekend my passion was born.
I am passionate about helping people see that they CAN overcome their anxieties and fears and that they CAN do all the things they dream about doing. I remember the following week when I returned back to my job in Logan, Utah so many of the older women commended me and said they could not believe I had done that alone. I decided more women needed to know that they could do things on their own and that they were powerful beyond measure.
Like I’ve said, since then I have driven so much farther distances, moved by myself and started over in new cities several times, and traveled solo all through Europe. People ask me if I get scared, and the answer is no.
I found FREEDOM that weekend in San Diego, when I pressed through my fears in Las Vegas and found courage through action.
I love that this story is full circle now that I have moved to San Diego and have continued my courageous journey in other endeavors now. I have never been happier than I am now and I know it is because I am living out my purpose, it fills me with passion and vigor, and I get to take courageous action every day.
So what about you?
What are you afraid of? What are you sitting on? What are you allowing to cause you anxiety and pent up fear? What could you release? What if discovering your purpose and passion was right on the other side of that fear? What if it just took a baby step of action, a little at a time, before you would look back and wonder why you were ever scared. That’s what freedom and liberation look like, no longer being afraid of something that help you captive before.
What can you let go of? What can you step into? Who do you want to be? What do you want to do? Was there excitement and fear and anxiety the day inside me the day I went parasailing? Absolutely! Because I’d never done it before. But I exercised trust and faith and man, am I glad that I did! Because this is the face of pure liberation and freedom.
So let me help you. Are you having a hard time taking the steps alone? I get it. Let hold your hand while you cross the bridge over into purpose. Are you looking for yourself? Liberation from your past? Liberation from your fears? Are you aching to transition into a brand new life, design it, and go and do all the things you’ve always wanted to do? Now is the time! Click below to book a call with me where we will talk through your fears and design a plan to overcome them. You’ve got this.