Today is the Spring Equinox, which means it's the first day of Spring! After spending almost two whole days at my desk working on my website (did you notice the changes? there's still more to come) I stepped outside yesterday to walk around my neighborhood. When I started walking I didn't want to stop! It was so beautiful, the grass was green, sprouts were shooting up out of the ground, and one of my neighbors even had a yard full of blooming daffodils! 

Oh, I am so happy spring is here!

(now Utah, please just keep it coming)

My message is all about healing the inner AND the outer and so you can look forward to next week where we'll be talking OUTER spring cleaning aka how to declutter and clean out your home and space. But before we go into that, I want to spend today talking about how we can do some spring cleaning on the INSIDE.

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"As I unclutter my life, I free myself to answer the callings of my soul." -Clarissa Pinkola Estes

I came across that quote today, I'm not sure who Clarissa Pinkola Estes is, but I know she is completely right. Last night in my yoga class we meditated on this new season that is Spring and how important it is to let go of the things that have been weighing you down in fall and winter and move forward into this new season of life. The changing of the seasons are such a wonderful time to refresh and renew. 

What has been weighing you down?

What do you want to shed?

How do you want to renew?

Who do you want to be going forward in this new season of your life?

I've been doing some hard internal work this week as I've been reading a book titled, "Dark Side of the Light Chasers" by Debbie Ford. This book is all about how we all have a lightness as well as a shadow and only when we embrace and accept our shadow, or darkness, will be truly be able to shine. In the introduction of this book Debbie says, "I wanted to walk tall, believe in myself, have the courage to ask for what I wanted and needed, and live a life that mattered. I wanted to wake up in the morning with a smile on my face and know that I was loved and that I belonged. I was desperate to feel worthy and I was hungry for the opportunity to live my fullest potential." 

Man, don't you want that too? I know I do. 

She goes on to say, "The self of my dreams came the day that I found out that there was gold hidden in my darkness, that there was light hiding in my bad behavior, and that there was power hidden in the traumas of my past."

Do you feel you have an addiction? Do you suffer from depression, anxiety, insomnia, or sickness? Do you continue to attract dysfunctional relationships to your life? Do you feel angry all the time, or even some of the time? Do you want relief from your internal battles?

A year ago I was recovering from surgery. Early in 2017 I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and on March 18, 2017 I had surgery to remove my thyroid and the cancer that was spreading into my lymph nodes. Luckily the surgery was successful, the cancer was removed, and I was able to go on with my life, however the week after the surgery was interesting and proved to me once again the importance of healing our emotional wounds, because if we don't they LIVE INSIDE OF US. 

Every single night for over a week after my surgery I spent the entire night sobbing. I mean sobbing like I had never cried before. I believe that my thyroid cancer was a reaction to my holding 28 years worth of emotional trauma around not being heard or having a voice inside, and during those agonizing nights it was as if every single moment and event of my life where I felt the feelings of being ignored, unheard, or silenced came back to me and the only way to let them out was to feel the pain, cry, and let them out. It was amazing to me and I have not been the same since.

This experience taught me an INCREDIBLE lesson and man I wish I wouldn't have had to endure cancer, surgery, and radiation to learn it which is why I want so badly to share this message with you. 

We must heal our internal battles or else they will kill us from the inside out. That may sound harsh, and I don't say it to scare you, but it is the truth. So what do you need to heal inside of you? What is screaming to come out and what do you need to let go of?

As we embrace our full selves, darkness and all, we become whole. This takes some work and some pruning, and some planting, and some renewing. 

So what can you do during this beautiful time of year of renewal and growth to let go of what's haunting you and move forward into the new? Below are some practices you can incorporate into your "spring cleaning."

Inner Spring Cleaning

1. Take some purposeful time to meditate and really LISTEN to what YOU need right now at this time in your life. Ask yourself these questions? Where am I hurting? What do I feel when there are no distractions? What do I need to heal inside of me? How can I heal this? What do I need to let go of? How do I want to grow? Who do I want to be going forward? What is my highest potential? Your soul knows what is holding you back, it knows what needs to be renewed. Tune into yourself and honor those thoughts and feelings that come up.

2. Write. Write. Write. Give yourself the gift this week of free writing for 30 minutes when you first wake up or before you go to sleep every day. Writing is one of the best ways to release what's stuck inside of us. Don't judge yourself, just write whatever comes to your mind and don't hold back. If you want, write in a spiral notebook and burn it when you're done. These thoughts don't have to go in the history books for your great-grandchildren to read, this is for you. Let it out and let it go.

3. Ask your 5 closest friends to share with you your top 3 strengths AND your top 3 weaknesses. Honor and respect the feedback and notice what emotions come up in you? How can you accept your weaknesses, see the blessing they actually are to you, and integrate them into your full self?

4. Get outside and move your body. Like I said, it was amazing what getting outside did for me yesterday. After a winter of hibernating, our souls need the freedom to let loose and be free. Take a mini trip, do some exploring, let your soul guide you to what it is that you truly need. Plus the sunshine is going to do wonders for your soul as well.

5. Dance. I don't care if you aren't a dancer or if dancing feels awkward, embarrassing, and hard. Go in your bedroom, shut the door, blast your music (or put in your headphones) and LET LOOSE. That is the key, LET LOOSE. Do whatever your body wants to do to relax and connect to your soul. After you do this, repeat step 1.

These are just a few ideas to help you tune into yourself and step into the next season of life in the most whole and full way possible. How amazing will it be to feel whole and new? The earth is now in the process of springing forth new growth and brilliance and it is your time to be in this process as well. 

SPRING: A beautiful reminder of how beautiful change can really be. 

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