A little while back I was scrolling back through my Instagram account (do you ever do that?) reminiscing over the experiences I’ve had over the last couple of years. I came across a post that said, “MAKE IT HAPPEN.” And I began to think about how that has been my proudly born motto for the last few years.
As I have started my business, moved from city to city, traveled solo, sought employment to make ends meet, fought cancer, and everything in between that has been the go to thought, “MAKE IT HAPPEN.”
However, I have undergone some major training this year which has caused my heart to undergo some major softening. I have learned more about the magnificence of the feminine energy and how wonderful it feels to live in that space. I have learned about receptivity and how we cannot really truly give if we don’t know how to receive. I have begun making my way through the waters of dating after YEARS of independence and being alone. And I have learned that in so many areas of life MAKE IT HAPPEN just doesn’t work.
So… I am shifting my focus to a more “let it happen” perspective and I wanted to share that with you today. Does let it happen mean sit back and just wait for things to come to you? Not really. I still truly believe that without intention and action we cannot achieve or attain our hearts deepest desires, however it’s more about the BEING than it is about the DOING.
Doing is a busy energy. Do you ever feel like you are running around with your head cut off, utterly exhausted, and still feeling like there is not enough time in the day to get everything done?
OR do you ever feel like your mind will not shut off. Like you have a hamster wheel going around and around in your head and you just can’t seem to slow down and get a grip? I used to have these many times, especially during the night… I related them to having an anxiety attack… until I learned how to control my mind and calm my brain down.
This “hamster wheel” if you will is a ruminative state of mind that we can refer to as the “doing” mode.
The job of this mode is to get things done-to achieve particular goals that you have decided to set. These goals could be something external that you need to DO—make a meal, build a house, or travel across the country—or to your internal world of self—to feel happy, not make mistakes, stop being anxious or depressed, or be a good person.
When we are in this “doing mode” we will constantly find gaps between how things are and how we think they should be or how we wish things to be. That is the job of our brain. To keep us safe, happy, and surviving. However, dwelling on how things are not as we want them to be can create an even further negative mood. In this way, our attempts to solve a “problem” by endlessly thinking about it can keep us locked into the state of mind from which we are doing our best to escape.
Again, does this mean that we should not want to feel happy, not make mistakes, stop being anxious or depressed, or be a good person?? Of course not. As human beings we always desire to progress, have more, and BE more. It is the human condition and I believe this drive for progress and evolution is our greatest strength. It is the thing that MAKES US HUMAN.
So how do we do this while maintaining a state of BEING and not just DOING? The answer is in one word… PRESENCE.
Presence, or “being mode” could be described as the mind having “nothing to do, nowhere to go” and can focus fully on moment-by-moment experience, allowing us to be fully present and aware of whatever is here, right now.
It is “accepting” and “allowing” what is, without any immediate pressure to change it, aka “LET IT HAPPEN.”
For a recovering DOER like me it can feel incredibly scary and uncomfortable. What do you mean I can’t just text the man I want to date?? I have to wait for him to contact me?? Well how is anything going to get done then? This is just one of the many “DOING/MAKE IT HAPPEN” thoughts that I have been learning to shift. (Can you relate?)
Doing mode involves thinking about the present, the future, and the past, relating to each through our concepts and perception. Being mode, on the other hand, is characterized by direct, immediate, intimate experience of the present.
So… how do we become more present? How do we step more fully into the peace-filled mode of BEING? Below are just a few ideas to get you started…
Identify the moment. Stop right now. Take a deep breath… what is happening around you. What do you hear? What do you smell? What are you not even noticing?
Make mindfulness part of your daily routine. Yoga, meditation, just 5 minutes of uninterrupted time to let thoughts rise to the surface.
Just listen… without intending to respond. You have no idea how good this feels until you have tried it or been on the receiving end of just being heard.
Be okay without knowing everything-relinquish control. When anxiety starts to take over because you don’t know all the answers or because you feel out of control, breathe, relax, and get back into the present moment.
Listen to your body - it is ALWAYS telling you what you need. Are you taking care of your physical self?
Recognize your feelings for what they are… just feelings. What are they telling you about your inner state?
Have personal daily rituals. Do you love your cup of tea in the morning? Make it a special moment you can take for yourself. Do you love watching the sunset? Make is something you step outside to enjoy every night.
Get away from the screens. Have time in your day to unplug. We live in a world where there is so much constant noice all around us. Just unplug for a minute and see how you feel.
Have balance between planning and flowing. Are you a planner like me? Can you not handle not having everything on your schedule and see to always be thinking about what you’re going to do next. Practice flowing. Practice not knowing. It gets easier with time.
Reflect. Take time to reflect on your day. What are you grateful for? That mind that is always trying to “fix” everything. Just remind it how great things already are.
BEING is such a beautiful state to be in. When we focus on the things we already have the universe knows what more to give us more of. When we take time to receive and be we allow the things that are meant for us to come to us and the things that aren’t to drift away.
As I have shifted more fully into this mode, (and I still have a long ways to go, believe me!) I am realizing how calmer I am, how much more peace I feel, the hamster wheel doesn’t visit me in the night, my anxiety attacks have stopped, and I am so much quicker at shifting myself out of need to know and need to control mode. As I practice letting things be and am practicing attracting what is meant for me to flow.
And it feels like happiness and freedom. And feels so so good.
I’d love to hear your comments below about how you can practice “being mode” more in your life and how good it feels when you just “LET IT HAPPEN.”